b5perfect

Fic: Burdened, not Broken (AoS)

Title: Burdened, not Broken
Fandom: Agents of SHIELD
Characters/Pairings: May/Coulson (with brief appearance from Ward)
Rating: NC-17 for smut, but it’s smut with feelings
Word Count: 11278
Summary: Following events with the Berserker Staff, May is struggling with the best way to process her emotions. But she doesn't want to control her feelings where Coulson is concerned. And there's no one she would rather lose control with.
Disclaimer: AoS/the MCU/Marvel characters are not mine
Spoilers/Warnings: While this diverges from canon in 1x08, there are spoilers for things revealed much later in canon (but I don’t think anything past s4; and the big spoiler is s1). There are various backstory traumas discussed (Couslon’s death, events in Bahrain). Extremely-mildly dubious consent (partially discussed)
Author's Notes: Many, many thinks to my beta reader for getting this fic to its final form and me to be willing to put it out there.

Burdened, not Broken

pixy

Writing thoughts

So this year's NaNo was basically a bust...again.

It started strong, then had a couple meh days then basically nothing for a couple weeks. Then I got hit with a different idea and I got a few thousand words into it. Then I figured out how I might get that idea to actually go where I wanted it to but it will require some reworking of what I've already done (and a lot of words in the middle to get there).

And I still have the question of how one actually finds a beta reader in these times. Actually at this point it's more like a cheerleader (but hopefully eventually a beta reader) as I'm so out of the fic writing game that I have little to no confidence in my writing.

To that end I have ended up rereading some of my old fics, and it has been a reminder that I don't completely suck as a writer. And a reminder that I should probably actually post stuff to ao3 at some point in case lj/dw vanish. Also maybe pick up a few new readers if I'm lucky. But in order to justify not back dating things I feel like I should at least be able to call them remastered and correct some typos that slipped through the crack.

I guess that's a project I could do...but I have other projects both fannish and real life, so we'll see.

And along those lines, if anyone is still out there, reading this, and wants to keep me thinking about old fics, feel free to ask me things about them. I may not be up for a full commentary, but I have memories.

seperated

Complex reactions to the AoS s7 trailer

So here's to deal (and yes I have realized lately how often I start posts with 'So...' but I'm going to keep doing it), the actual Agents of SHIELD s7 trailer left me pretty cold, it was about 90% made up of the scene saw months ago and the 16 second teaser we got a couple weeks back. And the whole thing focused on two things, it being the final season and the time travel, both of which are not exciting to me. If I wanted dumb time travel I'd still be watching Legends, I'm here because I still want to see the messy fallout with these characters and we got none of that.

And so, I present a project I've been thinking about for a couple months now. You remember how I repeatedly said in the s6 reviews that the AoS writers should have watched Farscape to figure out how to handle messy space ideas? Well, now look at a list of Farscape inspired things (with less yelling) I want said between May and Choni-Coulson.

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writing

There was a time when livejournal was a thing...

I know this is a really shallow thing to complain about, but well here’s the shallowest side-effect of the current pandemic. This stuff has so permeated my mind that I find when I’m writing I have a heightened awareness of how the characters are not practicing proper precautions. Not just feeling a little weird about having them close to each other (in some ways my usual hang-ups about too much human contact were already something I had to work around, or identify with a character who’s wary of casual touch too) but if they want to order takeout or go out for coffee or have someone over from out of town.

I’m not even quite this hung-up about things for myself (at least not yet) since I live in an area that hasn’t been hit badly so far and neither I nor the rest of the house go out much anyway (we practiced social distancing before it was cool). But I find myself dwelling on how long it might have been since characters last washed their hands if they’re going to getting close to each other. And I set a lot of stock in hand holding, shoulder touching, and forehead kissing (yes even when I may or may not be trying to write porn) and right now none of it seems like proper social distancing.

Thus ends the pettiest objection to Coronavirus anyone has had. Best of luck to anyone with far more to worry about and stay safe out there, everyone.

Also I haven’t been posting here much, but if you happen to miss my various TV opinions I’ve been posting over on DW at tori_reviews.

wwjsd

An Arrow reaction post

So it's been a while, let's see how this goes.

Obviously I've gotten away from my reviewing this season; then again the only things I might review are Arrow and The Good Place and neither have inspired me to write much about them so far. The Good Place is as good as ever; and Arrow has been pretty solid and mostly enjoyable this season.

But there is something about this last episode I felt inclined to talk about, so the likely brief return of the reaction post.

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writing

Many MCU thoughts

Since I don’t really know if anyone is still even reading the thoughts I put out there, I have developed a habit of writing up my thoughts and sitting on them for a few days before I actually post them. So I wrote this up a couple days ago after the Spiderman drama started up, and some of it might already not apply, but I might as well throw it out there.

Just a few Marvel/MCU thoughts, partly brought by the Spiderman stuff going on, and partly stuff I’ve been thinking on for a bit.

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